Spring 1996
God
Arleen C. Russell.

Once I was a little girl,
I sang and laughed and played.
When it was time to go to bed,
I bowed my head and prayed.

Lord, you were part of all my world,
The birds, the flowers, the trees;
I thought of you as my own God,
You were not hard to please.

Years turned to youth and youth brought pain,
The pain of ache and doubt.
I could not find my childhood God;
You seemed nowhere about.

The trinity? Ah yes, indeed.
This God was in three parts,
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
Indwelling human hearts.

Those who belonged to Christ became
Heirs with His only Son.
Receiving life eternal for
That battle had been won!

I knew all this, believed Your word
And yet the void remained.
I studied much and tried so hard;
Comfort was not attained.

Life had its joys and happiness.
Then when the darkness fell,
It was a night without a light,
The lonely dark of hell.

I prayed with a broken heart and yet
It seemed you did not hear.
Even though your promise said,
That you were always near.

Now I have let the deep thoughts go,
And childlike reach my hand.
I ask you, Lord, to hold me close,
I cannot understand.

But this I know, You are the same,
The God my childhood knew.
You love me as you loved me then,
And Lord, I love You too.

Though I no longer am a child,
The simplest thing I know
Is just to say, "Jesus loves me."
Oh Lord, it hurts to grow.